Still Loved
by Ana-Shadow-Wolf
Summary: She could hear their voices... And nothing else mattered save one fact: She was still loved.


This fic is dedicated to _Chibi Haru-chan17_, a great friend of mine. I love you, sister and I hope you like this little gift.

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**Still Loved**

He had never expected to see her again…

At least, not _alive. _He was young, but had lived enough to know, even though unwillingly, that there were moments when the hope inside someone just dried up and come apart in thin air, dust of old dreams. It wasn't as getting used to always see her in that petrified form, it was that he couldn't imagine any possible salvation. There was a difference between wanting to believe and truly believing…

And, even so, he had found her again…

Terra…

He _didn't_ want to believe at first. False hopes, when crushed, were too painful and he liked to be the "joker" of his group, just that it was hard to have funny comments to say when you were distracted with some grief. So, he had kept his euphoria down as well as his warm sensation until he went to the place where her statue stood… And found it empty. Until then, he had not believed it. But after it, there was no way to deny, how refuse what his eyes saw, but his heart weren't sure to trust…

She _was_ different…

Her way of speaking, even how she walked… It was all different from how he remembered her. But who could live through all she had and still be the same person? Or maybe she wanted to pretend, to fool others and herself?

Or was that too philosophical of Beast Boy's part, who had always had jokes and funny things to say in every situation?

He didn't know the true answers and wasn't sure they mattered, he only knew that fooling someone who has the ability to turn into animals wasn't a simple thing to do. The definitive proof was maybe the one that, to him, was evident.

Her _smell _was the same…

It was her smell…

_It was Terra. _

Beast Boy had never hoped to see her again, how could he? Everyone had tried all they knew to help her… Raven, with silent perseverance, had tried several spells, researched in many books… Cyborg had tried everything he knew of technology… Starfire had thought about all she had seen in her planet and others, medicinal methods she knew… All had failed.

They already believed her to be lost forever, damned to spend eternity in the form of a cold stone statue and all they could do was go there, keep the place clean, leaving flowers at her feet (always her favorite ones, as if in doing so they could bring some of the light she had loved so much to that crypt)… And even if Terra could no longer hear, he knew the others also spoke to her, like he always did.

How was that possible?

He had his suspicions, but again, did they even matter? Mattered the "_how" _or "_why"? _No… No, to Beast Boy all that mattered was the fact that she was alive, only that was enough yo him… It was sufficient…

It was like recuperating hope, a light that he had thought out and dead, lost forever.

Until she told him she _was not _that girl. That she was no heroine with powers over earth and rocks… She was just a _normal _student and nothing more than it… And she wanted him to leave her be.

Nor he nor the others understood her behavior at first. Beast Boy told about his meeting with her to the others and how Terra had acted as if she couldn't remember anything, even seeming to lose her patience with him. At first, they had remained in silence, as disturbed as they had been in the day she had returned to them wearing that strange grey metallic clothing, Slade's symbol in her chest… Just to try to kill them. It seemed too cruel that they had recovered their friend only to, apparently, lose her once more…

The subject was still aching, as the memories of the happening. And they had theories about Terra's actions…

Maybe she really couldn't remember…

"_Or maybe" _They thought, lacking the courage to turn the thought into words and fulfilling it. "_She has not forgiven herself for what she did…"_

They had to admit that they had hated her for her betrayal… Because hating her was easier. It thwarted them from drowning in the feeling of hurt and sorrow of having to fight someone that had once been part of their team… It was the only way to do what they _had_ to do: Protect the town. When you were in the position they were, sometimes, duty had to come first… But Terra had been and was still considered a friend and part of the team…

Part of the _family…_

But how could they go on with the lying hate, that was more like indignation and anger then pure hate, when she had sacrificed her life to stop the volcano? When she had freed herself from Slade's control and killed him? When they knew that she had always tried to do good things with her abilities, just to lose control and be rejected, as if she carried a dirty and contagious disease?

Insisting in talking with Terra had already showed to be pointless… And they needed to respect her choice. Was it that condemnable to want to forget everything and live a normal life? They all had, once in a while, wished for the same…

_They're been sittin' by the phone  
since she left  
But it's time for work  
and they just can't be late _

Even so, just forget about it was impossible. Forgetting _her _was impossible… It was like giving up on their friend and that was inadmissible. Maybe they were being selfish, but they still wanted that, somehow, Terra knew that she could come back, that they didn't hate her, that she still had a place with them…

As always, when it was about Terra, it was Beast Boy who had an idea. Maybe it was ridicule, maybe it wouldn't work, but it was better than just sitting there without doing anything… When he told the others his idea, he expected some dry comments, saying that it wouldn't work, that it was nonsense…

No one was against it.

_So he grabs his old guitar  
and he plays a couple bars  
On the machine  
Then they softly sing_

Beast Boy had left a communicator with Terra, having to insist a lot on it so she would accept it and that way, if she had any problems, she could call on them. He wasn't sure she still had it, but he'd rather believe it, after all there was the possibility…

With his idea, if she ever tried to contact them… For any reason… It was a way to let her know…

_It doesn't matter what you've done  
We still love you  
It doesn't matter where you've been  
You can still come home_

That way, they left a message. A special message, meant only for Terra…

_And Terra if it's you  
We've got a lot of makin' up to do_

All they could do was wait… That someday, she _did_ try to call them…

_And we can't hug you  
on the phone_

And then, she comprehended.

_So hurry home_

**XxX**

All other Titans had been curious about what that message was about, since it made no sense to them. Together, they told the others about Terra and who she had been and what she had done… They told about her betrayal, emphasizing how she had been someone who had lost her way and how, even that they had believed (had wanted to believe?) that she had always been evil, her last act had been saving the city from a erupting volcano and how much Terra had suffered. None of them blamed her or wished her any harm, but rather waited her to come back…

She was of the group, she was of the family…

_Well, the message light was blinking  
when they got back  
It was an old friend callin'  
cuz he just heard the news_

The others, though couldn't interfere in such particular business, offered their support and wishes that in the end, Terra really called them and that things would be alright.

There wasn't much to do, other than wait…

_He said "Guys, I hope you find her  
if I see her I'll remind her_

Wait that someday, some blessed day, Terra tried to contact them…

And heard that message, recorded only for her…

And that then, she understood that her place with them had never been erased and that they waited for her to come back, if she wanted to do so…

_That her family is worried  
and wantin' her to know"_

They _wanted_ her to come back…

**XxX**

Days passed by, turning into weeks and then months. There wasn't any indication that she had any intention of talking to her old friends. Apparently, her decision of leaving her old life behind was definitive and irrevocable.

They repeated to each other that if they liked her, they needed to respect the way she had chosen… If they didn't, what kind of friends they would be?

_Well the days dragged by  
without a word from her  
And it looked like  
she might not be coming back _

It was the right thing to do and they always tried to do what was right. They were the "heroes", weren't they? They couldn't afford the luxury of selfishness and force Terra to come back, and taking on account how much she had suffered, it was more than selfishness… Maybe it would be even cruel…

Though none of the other Titans they knew would say it deliberately, it was clear that they thought it was time to them to give up on Terra. Keep the memories, which were the only thing they had left from her and, well, go on…

"I mean…" Jinx muttered, looking at Kid Flash as if searching for support to say what she had in mind, without being offensive. "It has been _months_ since you created that message…"

_People said "Guys, don't you think  
it's time to take that old message off?"_

"And we don't even know how long ago she has come back to normal… Maybe she really doesn't want to come back." Kid Flash shrugged with a seriousness that wasn't characteristic. "Don't you think you have tried enough? Maybe there is just no way…"

The Titans looked at each other. As painful as they might be, those words made sense and were said out of worry, because their friends didn't want them to grasp false hopes and sank. What Jinx and Kid Flash said made sense… They didn't know when Terra had come back to life and whatever it had happened, she had not sought them out. And it did make months since they had followed Beast Boy's plan and what difference had it made until now?

Would it be that bad to just let go? To let her live the normal life she had wanted so much and go on, leaving past in the past?

_They said "No."_

"No" Beast Boy muttered and then, as if recovering the strength, he spoke louder. "No".

They looked at each other and, as one, they nodded with a thought floating between them as by telepathy.

"Well, see, you two…"

"It isn't as if what you said is not right…"

"But we will persist in this idea a little more…"

"We will leave the message as it is."

It was possible to see interrogation in the eyes of the Kid Flash and Jinx… Beast Boy smiled.

"Is just that we never know when she might try contacting us…"

"_You never know  
when she might call" _

**XxX**

Loneliness had always been one of the most painful things in her life.

And it was a feeling that Terra knew better than she wished.

Some time ago, she had thought that she had finally got the life she dreamed of. A life without battles, where she was accepted… The biggest issue in this style of life was getting good grades at geometry. Compared to before, it was like a dream.

She had failed.

Again.

_She was just outside  
a bar in Jump City  
Her so called friends had left her  
all alone_

She had failed at everything. Failed to be what she had always imagined she could be with her abilities: A person capable of helping others, a person who could save others, in summary, a heroine. And when she had gone into the way of evil, she had realized her mistake and foolishness, how she had became the very thing she despised, seeking to kill the only ones who had ever accepted her…

How things had come to this, if all she had ever wanted was to be accepted?

And what kind person was she, who had tried to kill the ones who had believed that she was a true friend?

It wasn't fair. She hadn't been fair or decent. The first notion that had had when waking up was that she could never go back.

Terra was absolutely sure of it. Seeing the flowers that had been left at her feet as flowers in a tomb, the plate that had been put in her rock as a gravestone, had only strengthen her resolution.

Go back how? She wasn't that girl who had tried so hard to be a hero anymore, not was she the girl full of hate and spite for everyone she knew… Then, what was she?

She didn't know.

The only option, and the best left, was chose to forget about everything. To seek a normal life as student. Ignore the past and pretend that girl of before was dead. And in a way, she was, wasn't she?

With time and some difficult, she had managed to obtain what was considered a normal life. A small apartment in a boarding house, school, a part-time job… It was like this a normal life. During day, when she was busy with school and her job, laughing with her new friends, all seemed right and good… But at night… At night it was very different, when she would lie down and thoughts and memories would come out from shadows to poison her mind…

She could not forget…

If her "friends" had, somehow, felt it in her, Terra didn't know. But they had all distanced from her… Other students had started to reject her… People sometimes would look at her with the corner of their eyes, strange expressions… Was it something they could feel on her, as a radio wave transmitted in silence that warned them to stay away? A wave that warned them… "_Different"… "Weird"… "Liar"…?_

"_Traitor_?"

She couldn't know for sure. All she knew was that she failed in everything. She felt like something inhuman, a doll that had tried to be human and failed… She couldn't be a hero, a villain and not even a normal person. She was a failure.

There was no place for her.

She didn't belong anywhere…

_She was nothing._

To increase the list of things she didn't know, what did she think she was doing looking at the circular yellow object, with a "T" in the center? What had she accepted that thing for? Out of sentimentalism? She had swore she wouldn't look back, then why?

To have something, anything at all, to remind her of the old days?

"_Better yet, what do you think you are doing? Do you want to talk to them?" _A voice whispered in her mind, a voice awfully like a mix between her own voice and Slade's, making an unique sound that tore her up inside.

"_N-No, of course no…" _It would be bullshit. They would never trust her again and she herself didn't think she deserved it. How had Raven said, again, when they had fought? "_I trusted you! _We_ trusted you! And you treated us like garbage!". _Yes, it had been just like it, hadn't it? Then what did _she _deserve if not the same treatment?

She felt filthy.

In the television, she saw news that they… That the Teen Titans were in the town's center, apparently in a fight. They were not at the Tower… So… Maybe… Not that she was going to talk to them, but maybe just to hear their voices? They always left a message recorded to when they were not at Tower, in case someone would call… So, if she did, just to hear their voices and nothing more? Could she? It wouldn't have any problem, right? They wouldn't even know she had called them, there wasn't anything painful about it… Right?

Just so she could hear the voices she knew so well…

Just this time?

_She was scared they wouldn't want her  
But she dialed up that old number  
and let it ring  
And then she heard them say_

She sighed, deciding to do it, before her shame was greater and made her give up…

She pushed a button, knowing that she would hang up without saying a word, without leaving a single message…

Then she heard.

She heard the voices. _Their_ voices.

_It doesn't matter what you've done.  
We still love you_

How...

_It doesn't matter where you've been  
You can still come home_

Who had had that idea?

Since when did they…

_And Terra if it's you  
We've got a lot of makin' up to do _

She stood still…

_And we can't hug you  
on the phone _

Those were the same voices that had laughed with her, told her words of support, of consideration… The same which had screamed in anger and pain when she had fought them… They were still the same voices…

The same voices that _called_ _her_ _back_…

_So hurry home_

**XxX**

Back to the Tower, Beast Boy limped, his leg throbbing terribly with a burn. It wasn't the only wound he had ever suffered in a battle and no doubt it wouldn't be the last one. The rest of the group was not in better conditions, but they never expected to win and leave battles unharmed. Few were the ones that didn't end up with them carrying some sort of wound.

All the same, they felt peace of victory and, above all, the peace of being alive and that no civil had been killed or hurt. The cycle repeated, they would take care of their current lesions and relax until the next time when they'd be necessary… After all, they were heroes, weren't they?

"Maybe we should ask for a pizza today or…" Cyborg slowly stopped talking when they entered the center room. No one needed to ask why. The small red light of incoming calls of the Tower was blinking ahead…

_They walked in just in time  
to hear her say _

"Do you believe that…" Starfire started, but soon became silent when they heard someone saying something. No, maybe it was nothing, one of the Titans East or something like that? No, it couldn't be…

The voice the knew so much, that they had waited so much to hear, echoed in the room that suddenly seemed too big…

The words sounded a little blocked, but perfectly clear…

"_Friends, I'm on my way"_

_**The End**_

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Cover: art/Still-Loved-Cover-379054364 (deviantart)  
Video: watch?v=MeZ1pVAobqo

I own nothing, nor the Teen Titans or the song (which is kind of a parody of "_Hurry Home" _by Jason Michael Carrol. I decided to adapt it a little, to fit Terra and the titans).

I'm very happy that I finished this and to be honest, I'm quite happy how this turned out and I hope you guys have enjoyed as well. Criticism is very welcome, too and if you guys find any type, please tell me.


End file.
